Me + Ambien = Vewy Scawy

Oh my word.

I debated long and hard whether or not to put this out there for the world to see.

But because Carly and I can't stop laughing about it, and because I just HAVE to save it forever, here I go...

For all the world to see.

Let me back up a bit and tell a little story.

Friday morning a week ago or so, I had a mini breakdown. One of those "overwhelmed, gotta cry it out and want to throw my hands up in the air" breakdowns. Poor Christian. He just looked at me and said, "Mama, why you so sad?" I think exhaustion was catching up to me, PMS was hitting hard, and the combo of it all wasn't a good mix.

So I texted my sister, who is my go-to gal, and asked what she was up to that weekend. Long story short, she talked me into going up for the weekend... and Martin happily obliged hearing how "distraught" I was over the phone. He's a good man, people, he's a GOOD MAN.

So Friday night, as already planned, he and I headed up to Portland, attended the Temple, where Carly met us afterwards to pick me up. (parked in the Temple President's spot of all places!!! LOL) And there began the BEST weekend I've had in a VERY VERY VERY long time. I think we laughed more than anything else. My sister truly is the best medicine.

Carly is on a regular routine of taking Ambien to help her sleep at night. Fine and dandy. She takes it, konks out and wakes up in the morning no problem. So when she offered me an Ambien Friday night, I thought nothing of it. I only took 1/2 just to be safe. Saturday night, took a whole one, Sunday night took another one.

It made me do weird things. Things I can't REMEMBER doing!!!!

Monday afternoon, as I'm walking through Downtown Portland ready to meet my mom for lunch, Carly calls and is cracking up.

"Do you know what you did last night??" she asks.

I immediately start laughing. Oh dear Golly, WHAT?

"You tried to kill me!! I was sound asleep and you jumped on top of me and started choking me!!!"

Tears are streaming down my face, I'm laughing so hard. I can hardly breathe as she goes on and on with all this crazy stuff I did. Oh my heck!

So without further adieu, here I am in all my glory. For all the world to see.

Apparently, after I attempted to choke my poor sister to death, I left the room and texted her this SCARY picture!! WHAT???????? I have absolutely positively NO recollection of taking it!!!

Are you scared??? I am.

And then this video.

Oh my word, people. Turn up your speakers and have a good laugh.

This right here is why I'll never ever ever EVER touch Ambien again.

(There is nothing to see in the video as it was dark in her room. Just listen...)

Carly: Whatcha doin?

((squeal)))

Donkey.

Rachel: Charleee.

Carly: Where's the balloon?

Rachel: The balloon?

Carly: Yeah, the pineapple balloon. (apparently I'd been rambling about a pineapple balloon)

Rachel: Well, it was like this factory and they were holding me up.

Carly: Did they let you go?

Rachel: Mmm.... It's just, I wish I could see inside their...... their......

Carly: Warehouse?

Rachel: Mmm hmmm..... Assembly line.

Carly: Did they smell like pineapple?

Rachel: No. I just knew it was pineapple. Pineapple balloon.

Carly: Like they looked like a pineapple?

Rachel: No, I could just tell.

Carly: Do you like pineapple?

Rachel: Mmm hmm.

Carly: And you, when you were sitting on the toilet it felt like you were in an ocean?

Rachel: Sitting on the toilet??? WHAT?

Carly: When you were sitting on the toilet a minute ago you said it felt like the door was waving.

Rachel: Oh yeah. Like there was somebody in there. Like it was alive. The door was alive. And the shower curtain might have been alive but he would hold still when I would look at him. So I got outta there.

Carly: Was it scary in there?

Rachel: Hmm Mmm

Carly: Was it kinda cool?

Rachel: Hmm... uncomfortable.

Carly: Uncomfortable?

Rachel: Mmm Hmmm.

What are you doing?

Carly: Nothin.

Rachel: Your video?

Carly: No, that's not video you can't see anything in here on video. (LIAR!)

Ok Donkey, it's time to go night night.

Rachel: Mmm hmm.

Carly: K go out and turn the lights off.

Rachel: But I just poured a pop.

Carly: Ok, go drink it and watch one show of 24.

Rachel: Is that your nose? Hmm... never mind. It's your BOOB??????

Carly: My face is up here. (((laughing)))

That's a fluffy booby.

Rachel: What's that? (we figured out i was pointing to her pillow)

Carly: It's my dolphin.

Rachel: This thing is trying to talk. (referring to her phone) It's like sending out and through the whole - it's sending out.... lines. I just want to pull on em. I can see em and they're not letting me pull on em right here. It's like lines right here. Can you see the LINES? Can you see the lines right there? I'm not kidding, do you see em??

And this concludes my post.

Please refrain from lectures on the risks of certain prescription meds. I am well aware at this point in time.
LOL